My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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