after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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