I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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