i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
there is glitter all over my balls
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
