Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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