ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
