Fuck appropriateness.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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