Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
