They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
