like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
