I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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