p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
