He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
