do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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