my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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