fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
