Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
