i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
