this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
