Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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