just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
