..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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