So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
