Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
