dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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