I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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