weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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