then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
