Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
