my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
if i died would you start the facebook group?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
