if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
