let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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