she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Houston, we have a blender
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
