so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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