So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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