I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
