i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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