I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
