you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am one with the molecules
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
