Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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