Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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