OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
