I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
