She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
