That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
