I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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