so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
