elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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