I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
