Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
